scouting

today is friday. i'm at java junction. it's kind of cold this morning which is odd because it's been really hot. i've been in kenya a whole week now. things have calmed down a bit since my first few days. seriously, i barely slept or rested at all until wednesday. i arrived on thursday night, had a full day of seeing old friends on friday, a ballet friday night (i'm so sorry Belarussian ballet, but you put me to sleep a little. it was warm and dark and there was nice music and i had jet-lag), Rosslyn spring fling on saturday and a party saturday night, church and two youth groups on sunday, a scouting trip on monday, and checking out lukenya getaway on tuesday. so wednesday i slept in a little bit before all day meetings about camp. yesterday was a little more chill and here i am today, just made a camp announcement at an elementary school chapel and am having coffee at java house. 

i'm fighting feeling overwhelmed because i know there is much to do before camp happens. and that it about one month. all of us are working on the various camp projects so i know it will all get done and camp will be great. please pray that everything will come together and that i and our team will trust the Lord with all of it. pray that children will sign up for camp and that we'll get all the counselors we need. we still need guys. i feel like needing guys is the story of my life lately. for camp staff, not personally. :)

so on monday i went with clayton and eric to mt satima in the aberdare national park. it was beautiful! and quite an adventure. we wanted to check it out to know whether we could take our high school adventure program there during camp. that is yet to be known because after driving for 5 hours and paying too much to get into the park, we got stuck in a ditch and didn't have time to make it to the mountain. this was nice welcome back to africa. i got to lay on my belly and dig dirt out from under the van, stack big rocks in the ditch and under the tires, hang off the side of the van while rocking it and weighing that side down, and then changed the tire. this is all to save us from going to the ranger station on foot past the buffalo and elephants. i was scared. i'm not gonna lie. but God is faithful even when it's hard to trust him. it took us a few hours to get out of the ditch. we didn't talk much during those few hours. we were all thinking about the lack of cell service, the buffaloes, and the impossible car situation we were facing. i was so happy to return to nairobi monday night and eat lasagna at lauren and stu's house. 

well, i'm in kenya, i'm safe, and i'm getting ready for camp. thank you all so much for praying. 

                          Mt. Kenya is in the background, but the clouds were covering her. Clay is                                                                    scouting a good spot for our kids.

goodbye America!

i wrote this a few days ago while traveling. I was unable to post it then bc my plane was boarding while writing. i've been in kenya for a week and have just now been able to procure good internet. i'm in the bluesky adventures office!!! woo!! 

Well…I’m almost there. I’m on the plane from London to Nairobi with 3 and a half hours to go. I still can’t really believe it. Even the travel has gone by so quickly. It seems like just a second ago I was kissing Cass and my mom goodbye in Atlanta. As we stood near the security checkpoint hugging and crying passersby kept asking if we were ok and if we needed some help.  Then before we could answer they would look at us and say, “oh,…oh I’m sorry.” Here is something beautiful and interesting that I’ve come to notice more lately: I am deeply passionate about people and relationships. I think I’ve known that for some time, but I’ve become acutely aware of it recently. I guess it’s the leaving I’ve just done. And it has only opened my eyes more to the beauty of God. The beauty of God in who He made me to be. There have, however, been times in my life in which I have prayed begging God to harden my heart and not let me care deeply for anyone anymore. See, I pour myself into relationships. I love people. Love them. And I want to know them and make them feel valued. But when that relationship turns around and the person I’ve poured so much into hurts me, it hurts.  I mean, it really hurts. And so that has happened a time or two in my short history and has caused me to wish not to care so much. The beautiful thing about God is that when I pray prayers like that He give me just what I need, “more than all I could ask or imagine:” He gives me the capability to love deeper and harder. And he gives me the sweetest friendships that I couldn’t have imagined. It is this I have seen over the past few days while saying goodbye to my friends and family. I know I will see them again. I know I’m embarking on an exciting adventure and I know it is the Lord’s will. Because I care so much about the people around me, my heart is broken when I have to say goodbye. I want so much to convey how important these people are to me.  So saying goodbye to everyone in Rome and to my family was extremely painful. Painful yet beautiful. I know that the reason I’m going back to Kenya is because I care so much about people and relationships and at the same time the reason it’s so hard to leave is again because I care so much about the people around me. I think that maybe, and I don’t really want to say it because I want to be humble, but I think this part of my character is a reflection of my creator. This is why it’s so beautiful to me: as deeply as I love people, He loves us so much more. Unfathomable. 

sisters

God has truly blessed me with some beautiful women in my life. I have several women around me that I hope to share life with forever. Two of the most beautiful women are my sisters. The funny thing about my sisters is that they are not related to each other. Sometimes when I explain this it gets confusing to outsiders. It’s simple really: both my parents got remarried and each had a daughter. So I having prayed, asked, and dreamt of having a sister, got two! I wasn’t satisfied with my brother Chance; I wanted a baby sister. Before Haley, now 18, was born I used to tell my teacher that I was getting a little sister. The thing is, I started saying that like a whole year before my step-mom was pregnant with Haley. I guess I prophesied about her. J Neither of these girls are very much like me. Oh, we have things in common and can absolutely laugh and have a great time together, but they are each so unique. And I adore them. I think it’s mutual. I hope so. Cassidy used to embarrass the crap out of me in high school. She insisted (the independent 4-year-old that she was) on wearing my t-shirts every day. She called me Danda and would scream and cry and refuse to leave the house unless she was wearing one of my “big shirts.” My mom worked the concession stand at all the basketball games while I cheered. Cass’s dad was already out of the picture and since everyone knew our family my mom let Cass walk around the gym. Cassidy also insisted on carrying sticks with her. These sticks varied according to her phase. I distinctly remember her screaming once so much that we had to go back home for her stick, which was a white PVC pipe that was longer than she was tall. Then, more than once she found herself on the basketball court wearing the oversized t-shirt over her cute outfit carrying that pipe. The refs had to stop the game while I, in my cheer uniform ran out on the court to get her. My friend Sarah whose dad coached the boys’ team said that in the videos of the games you could always see Cassidy in her white t-shirt marching up and down the sidelines. Cassidy is her own person and is pretty confident in that. She’s 13 now and stunning. I love who she is becoming. She wears clothes that fit (though they’re still sometimes weird in my opinion) and doesn’t carry a PVC pipe…most of the time. Haley is my other half sister and is about to graduate high school. She and I are pretty different but much the same. She’s beautiful and very stylish (here’s where we’re different). One day soon, hopefully, she’s signing me up for that TV show, “What Not to Wear.” I love spending time with her because she makes me laugh, she’s really smart, and she loves me. I mean, she’s really smart. Sometimes I get embarrassed because she knows more about what’s going on in the world than me.

leaving home again

a funny thing is happening. first i want to preface by making sure you all understand how stoked i am to be returning to kenya. stoked, did you read that? stoked. i know this is what God has for me right now. i know i am following Him to Kenya. but as my departure date approaches, all i can think of is staying here. i mean, my bedroom's still decorated, i'm still driving my car, still working a few part-time jobs...i'm trying to make myself understand that i'm about to make another huge change, but it's like i'm hanging on to life here as long as i can. i look around me and see my family (i'm even getting to know cousins i haven't known before), my friends (emma will be walking and talking next time i see her), and my community (i've started spending more time at winshape-amazing) here in rome and i don't really want to leave all that. i've come to the conclusion that i'm ready to go to kenya, but not ready to leave here. i think that makes sense. hopefully i'll be ready in a few weeks. i know that when i get there i'll be ready to be there. i wish i could combine the two! please pray with me that i will take time to spend with friends and family and that i won't be stressed. i want to relish in these last few days with them and create memories to hold onto while i'm away. i know God will meet ALL my needs. all of them. He will provide all i need emotionally, psychologically, and any grieving i'm meant to do.

staff retreat

a few weekends ago we had our 2009 camp staff retreat at winshape wilderness. it was amazing! I was so anxious about it and nervous that people wouldn't have fun, wouldn't like each other, i would have forgotten something major, or i just wouldn't know what to say or do. once again God is faithful. why do i keep letting myself worry over things? the team He has assembled for camp this summer is so beautiful. we worshipped together, shared our stories, ate together, played games, stayed up really late...couldn't have been better. wilderness led us in some sweet adventure activities and really did a great job. we wanted some new experiences and something stretching. walking around in the rain following glow sticks at night with not too clear maps and directions was pretty stretching for the staff. and the indoor static course was just the right mix of laid back and new adventure. we also talked about our theme, "New," from 2 Corinthians 5:17 If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. Ginny made the beautiful ceramic tea mugs and presented them on Sunday morning during our worship time. then we had such a sweet time of worship and prayer together. Charlie's leading worship for us and he is truly gifted. thank you so much for praying for the retreat's success. please continue to pray that we'll grow to understand what it is to be a new creation and we'll see new and creative ways to present this concept to our children this summer. 

building a support team

Well...I'm starting a blog. I've been pretty nervous about it and have written several drafts of my first post only to delete them and wait a few more weeks. But here it is: the first post. I'm writing so you can have an easier time keeping up with me while I'm in Kenya. In Kenya. I have only 6 more weeks in Georgia. I realized this last night when I had some friends over for pizza. I have truly amazing friends. I wanted to share my heart about going back to Kenya and I was only able to choke through tears and tell them how much I love them. As much as I want to be in Kenya and as excited I am about this new endeavor, I'm going to miss my people here a lot. I have so loved being in this community here in Rome and getting to know my friends and family again. God has blessed me with beautiful relationships that I will cherish forever. I really want to communicate to you that it's not that I'm leaving you, but that an extension of your life is going to Kenya. I want you to think when you hear of Africa and Kenya that part of you is there; that part of you being me. Because, really, the person I am right now is a result of God blessing me through our relationship.

So I leave for Kenya April 15. I'll be joining the BlueSky team there in Nairobi as director of Camp BlueSky. I'm completely stoked. This is a dream job. I have loved summer camp since I was 9 years old and never dreamed I could still be a part of it! Since my return from Kenya in September '07 I have prayed every day to go back. When presented with this opportunity I wrestled with the idea for some time. Even after I verbally committed there were a million doubts in my mind. Of course we all fight against those lies that cause fear and doubt, but I am daily receiving confirmation from God that I am indeed following Him. And God is faithfully meeting my needs.

Here are some things you can pray about with me:

-camp: guy counselors, program, campers, devotion guide, staff unity

-my family as we separate again

-financial support and that I'll do my part in asking and thanking

Thank you for reading and praying!