let us bring Him silver and gold

"In all our trials born to be our Lord

He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger

Behold our King, before him lowly bend!"

(O Holy Night)

last night i attended the christmas concert at rosslyn. i was 30 minutes late and and by myself. i missed the handbells, which i why i went. some of the high school boys are in the handbell choir and hate it. and i really wanted to see them perform. :) but i did get to hear all of the choirs. it was beautiful. so beautiful. the congregation was invited to join in some of the songs. i had had a pretty stressful day (someone came into our house and stole some stuff while our house help was in the basement). let me say, it's been a pretty stressful week. it's a shame that the end of the year gets stressful. and i don't at all feel the stress of christmas shopping and commercialism like many of you in the States. that's one of the things i do not miss and i pray that you will all be able to get past it and truly celebrate Christmas. i just feel pressure to finish up the lessons for youth group, get in all the parties and hang out time before people scatter, and figure out camp staff stuff before college students go home for the holidays. and it seems like people here are falling apart. there are so many sick, tired, and stressed out families. everyone's just pressing on for like two more weeks. and i spent most of yesterday dealing with kenya police (a whole other blog post) BUT, for a few precious hours last night, we gathered to worship our wonderful King.

i wish you could have been there.

middle school, high school, and an adult choir performed and the congregation sang along to familiar Christmas hymns. when we sang the lyrics "In all our trials, born to be our Lord. He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger. Behold our King, before him lowly bend!" I wept with praise. i only thought i was sitting there alone. until i looked around and listened to the voices and realized that i was so accompanied. there were a couple hundred brothers and sisters around me and we were, for a bit, caught up in doing what we were created to do: worship. we were celebrating the most important moment in history: when God came to earth as a human to die for our redemption. everything that had happened in my day pointed to this moment. i was tired and weak and God reminded me that He knows. and that all my days are about Him. and no matter where i am and what company i am in (or not in) this season is about Him. and He sees me. and knows my need and my weakness is no stranger to Him.

let's celebrate Him with grateful and sincere hearts.

tonight is the youth group Christmas party and in a few hours the leaders will come over and decorate my house! we're going to eat pizza, bake cookies, and decorate the house! then everyone else will come over and we'll exchange white elephant gifts, play bingo, eat cookies, and sing songs. all of this to celebrate our King.

this is a picture from a party i went to last year. we spent like 2 hours working on this masterpiece. check out the candles in the windows. i haven't figured out how to do this in kenya. i'm spending some time today working on it.

i really miss all my family and friends in America during the holidays. and that gets me looking forward to the visits coming up! my mom and sis are coming here for Christmas!!! this is the best Christmas gift i've ever gotten! and then at the end of january i'll be headed to the States! stay tuned for details about that trip and how you can help!

i love you all! Merry Christmas!

full and thankful

i know this is a terrible picture! La, don't hate me! it's the best one from our family turkey dinner. lauren was so full and thankful she had a little food baby! and eric says "two thumbs up for thanksgiving dinner!"

we americans here in my little "family" (along with a German and a half) celebrated thanksgiving this past week. my life is so full and I am so thankful.

last week i was invited to attend some training meetings about a successful family camp program in the States. well, the training was at brackenhurst; the camp is in the States. what a blessing that was! almost all of the staff were from the southeast (GA and AL) and it was simply lovely to be around all those southern ladies with their familiar accents. i loved talking with them and listening to the faithfulness of God in their ministries. one of them even grew up 30 minutes from my home! she gave me a hug and a kiss when i left and said it was "from my mama."

-please pray about a potential partnership with this camp!

before the training was even over i rushed home to finish my pies (pecan and pumpkin... yum!) and prepare for our "family" thanksgiving at the minshew's. lauren cooked the turkey and everyone pitched in sides. it was rich.

while at the training, i couldn't get one of my dearest families here in kenya off of my mind. God kept prompting me to pray for them. so after lunch on thursday i called to let them know i was thinking about them and found out that the eldest son has some significant health problems sending the family back to the states. i have known this kid since i've been in kenya and have spent a lot of time with him lately because he's already hurting emotionally and spiritually. he ended up spending the weekend and working on the ropes course with me, which was great!

now, i know that one of the rules in youth ministry is not to pick favorites. but, i've recently learned that that rule is one that should be broken. we naturally have more of a connection with some people than others and there are some kids that desperately need our attention and our time. this has been the case with this student over the past few months. i am confident the Lord put our lives together for this season.

so after spending the weekend with him and all day yesterday (i substitute taught at his school and spent the entire afternoon with him) i said goodbye to him and i have no idea when i'll see him again. he's already been struggling with some heavy things and now who knows what's ahead. and my heart aches. so much.

now, here's the thing: a few months ago i was talking with a dear friend about life, spirituality, vision, purpose. this friend challenged me when he said, "there comes a time when you have to look at every area of your life and say, 'what am i not trusting God with?'" so i asked God to help me do that. i figure: i live in africa and i don't make any money and i'm away from my family, i must trust God a lot. but i don't. i confess.

i have learned that i don't trust God with relationships. any of them. i work so hard at them and i love so much and i don't trust God to take care of me and the people i love. i want to be a wife some day, but i don't trust God to make that happen. so He is constantly reminding me that He knows best.

i want to be a good friend so i try so hard to get people to like me. it doesn't always work and i get stupid and annoying. and God says: "Trust Me."

and i loooove these kids. and i worry myself sick about them. and when they are sick or hurting i carry it around in my heart all the time until they are better. and it hurts me. my heart breaks. it's broken now. and God says, "Trust Me."

and so i see that the only way life can make sense is if i actually do trust Him. i have to trust Him to take care of the ones i love and trust Him when He does things in their lives that i don't always understand (like moving to america and letting them have serious health problems). and i have to trust him to provide for me (wise friends, mentors, and a partner). and i have to trust Him with the friends, mentors, and partner that are and aren't in my life right now and that He will meet all their needs, regardless of how cute, funny, hospitable, interesting, or whatever i else i think they need from me.

so, i'm passing on the challenge to you: look at your life. where are you hesitant to trust God?

and i learned recently that i'm supposed to make my blog posts short or scannable. i'm afraid this is neither. i guess i'm still learning many things. please still read about me, and i won't be hurt if you scan. :)

birthday pictures and thanksgiving

i'm so excited for the holidays! my mom and sister are visiting (less than a month from now) and lots of friends i haven't seen in ages are coming home. it's going to be so good. and it all starts this week!

thanksgiving will be pretty different for me this year. i'm going to be at a training for family camp on thursday and friday morning and our "family" thanksgiving will be friday evening. we bought a huge turkey at mistletoe market at rosslyn and have invited other americans (and south africans, the love it) to join us. i'm supposed to make some pies today because i won't have time on friday. hopefully some of the ones we've invited will be able to make it, but it seems like everyone is traveling this week.

this week is also the last of youth group meetings for the year. there are only like 3 weeks of school left. this coming sunday will be the last "real" meeting and the next weekend will be youth christmas parties. there will be cookies, costumes, and white elephant gifts. i will post pictures for sure.

this past weekend after youth group we went out to dinner at diamond plaza (indian food). so good. i had some pretty significant conversations with some students. i LOVE that i am able to speak the truth of the Gospel into their lives and though it offends some of their beliefs and lifestyles, they still want to hang out with me and tell me all their crazy stories, and get advice. it's truly a miracle and blessing. i love them. and i had the high school leadership team over to our house last night for waffles. i love watching them grow in their leadership. two of them are sharing their stories this week at youth group. they are so nervous. it's going to be wonderful.

today i rode with a dear friend to the airport to collect her lost luggage that'd been found. the airport isn't very far away but it took a few hours. we got to have some really good conversation. Praise God for relationships! what a sweet friend. God is so faithful to provide and place people in our lives to bless us and show us more of Himself.

here are some birthday party pictures and hopefully i'll get some good thanksgiving ones. some day i'll catch the pictures up to go with the blogpost instead of always promising pictures later.

happy thanksgiving! i am thankful for you!

retreating and visioning

is visioning a word? spell check isn't pointing out that it isn't so i'm going with is.

this week we went on a strategic planning retreat. a great friend and amazing leader from winshape wilderness came out to facilitate. sometimes just being in her presence makes me feel better about life. she's someone from home. i love it.

tammy seems to be an expert on teams, vision, strategy, or maybe she's just an expert on facilitating things. at any rate, she did a fantastic thing with us. THANK YOU tammy!!!

we spent about three days talking about the vision, mission and plan for our organization. it's all at once frightening and exciting. we talked about 10-year plans and goals. we haven't talked specifics about that before. it's crazy how it makes the day-to-day easier and more exciting when you know where you're going and why you're doing the things you do. again, thank you.

we stayed at a house in the rift valley. people keep asking me where it was and i don't really know how to describe it. i never remember places and how to get to them when i don't drive there. and i've not driven myself on any of these roads before even though i've been there. the area was beautiful! i love living in kenya so much. we were in the hills so it was cold in the morning and at night and really hot during the day. our last night at about 4:30 a.m. the sky fell apart with a huge downpour. i was sleeping under a tin roof so the loud sound woke me. when the sun rose i looked outside, but couldn't see anything because of the low clouds and the thick rain. lovely. i tried to let it lull me to sleep, but my thoughts stayed with the muddy, rocky roads that got us to the house. the rain cleared up during breakfast at which we celebrated clay's birthday with chapati, eggs, bacon, and chai. delish! and, don't worry, we made it safely down the mountain. the mud was already dry. :)

this is the view from our porch. great rift valley. stunning. God is so good.

after the rain. you can almost smell this picture. ok, well, i can remember the smell anyway.

our retreat was from sunday to tuesday and the friday before was the football (soccer) finals. the school where most of my youth group kids attend was in the final. sadly, they lost the game to a team they've already beaten twice. such a heartbreaker. here's a pic of me giving relationship advice (ha! as if i knew anything about relationships!) during the game. and then all the fans on the field doing the soccer cheer one final time. i LOVE their soccer cheer. it gets me really psyched and i'm not even a student there, nor have i ever played soccer. except that once on the intramural field when i ran AWAY from the ball and then that other time in Western where i just laughed the whole time and ran around.

thanks for reading about me! keep praying!!!

thank's mom for having me!

yesterday was my 27th birthday. wow. this is not where i thought i'd be at 27... its way better! i LOVE how we can make plans all day, but the Lord directs our steps. and He is good.

i remember (painfully) when i was a teenager sometimes asking my mom why she even had kids if she dislikes me so much. that was usually followed by a smack or being grounded. now that i hang out with teenagers all the time i understand the smack and groundings. i see so much of my self in some of these girls and guys. i find myself thinking, wow, sorry mom, all the time.

these 27 years have been pretty darn good. thank you, mom, for having me. i know it hasn't been, and probably still isn't easy.

yesterday morning some of the students surprised me with a birthday party at java house before school! they're amazing! maybe i'll have pics in a few days. i didn't take any, but i think hannah did. there were balloons, flowers, cake, and presents! pretty sweet!

and last night the homies (this is what i call my housemates/teammates) took me out for sushi. awesome. and lauren made rum cake! delish! they're so great!

the homies (but lindsay left already and stu and lauren aren't pictured here)

today is the soccer finals at rosslyn. it's a big deal. i'm excited. and i had breakfast with a really sweet student this morning. this is a praise and a prayer request!

here are some pics of youth group that kim gave me. aren't these guys great?!

this is my girl hannah. we were giving the guys some advice about how to ask girls out.

i know you're not supposed to have favorites but....

ok, who am i kidding? they're all my favorites. these are the "under-appreciated" hot boys. haha!

thanks for keeping up with me and praying for me! God is faithful!

quotable

Things I’ve heard lately:

“I have been in youth group and I have never met youth leaders like you guys before.”

“to redeem is to love and to be redeemed is to love back again.”

“Bye!” Graham, in a strong southern (no, more like country) accent, as he’s walking backwards up the hill waving to the dog while Lauren is slowly walking backwards beside him slightly tugging him up the hill.

“so…I’m going home tonight,” says Lindsay in my room this morning.

“So, Kim, what’s up?” Tom to Kim at lunch today in reference to why she's single.

“We had a good conversation on the long ride home after youth group last night and I just want to thank you for what you do.”

“Um…Amanda…what’s gender mean?” Middle School youth group.

Amanda: “When is a guy ready to date?”

Middle School girl: “When he’s mature enough for a relationship.”

Amanda: “Good luck with that ladies.”

Amanda: “Dating is…”

Middle school boy: “A waste of time!”

“I think that’s right, but I just don’t want to believe it right now.” about a scripture passage studied at youth group.

“YAHTZEE!”

“We are just underappreciated. If the girls at our school only knew how hot we are compared to boys in America…” high school boys not thinking that I’m listening to them from the front seat of the car.

all in a day's work

leadership team for middle school youth group (plus david, the tall ginger in the back)

things have been really busy for me lately. i'm working so hard to prevent and treat burn-out as i have seen some early warning signs in my life. THANK YOU to Anne Jackson for writing a wonderful blog and publishing a very helpful book and burnout and ministry. i've been very deliberate lately to take a Sabbath (usually on Monday) and make sure i get personal time with Jesus every day. it's tricky to do when part of your job is studying the Bible and reading books about spirituality.

my busy-ness looks different every day and not everyone would call it "work." and I LOVE IT. and i just want to tell you about my tuesday...

6:30 a.m.: run with my new sweet friend and running partner mina. she's a gem!

8:00 a.m.: then i wrote some emails for camp: scheduling two phone interviews and sending out some applications. and worked on the message for youth group on sunday: moral boundaries and spiritual disciplines.

11:00 a.m.:from there i went to the copy store to get some things printed for sunday school. 12:00: then i took some pizzas to rosslyn for lunch. it was the prize from middle school youth group a few weeks ago. the kids were like, "i don't know what this is for, but thanks for the pizza!" not exactly what i'd planned, but i always love seeing them at school and they were pretty excited and felt special for getting pizza during lunch.

1:00 p.m.: from there i took hannah home and took out her weave and dyed her hair. yeah, i know that sounds random, but she's in the play and a pretty little blonde with green eyes and playing a Anne Frank, a jewish girl. so she needed brown hair. check out the pics on my facebook page.

3:00 p.m.: afer dying her hair i went back to the copy store to explain in more detail what i wanted copies of. essentially i was having them print out all the copies for sunday school for the whole year. so it was like printed the Bible in coloring sheets. it did generate great discussion among the employees and myself.

3:30 p.m.: from the copy store i went to cheerleading practice

5:00 p.m.: after cheer practice back to rosslyn to catch the end of a soccer game and take another student out for coffee.

7:30 p.m.: i finally made it to the house for team night with the homies.

dying hair, drinking coffee, making copies, talking about God, reading about dating, all in a day's work.

this is the hair i dyed. can't really see it in pin curls.

i will add that i am really enjoying facilitating youth group these days. i have to study a lot to prepare for the lessons and it's been great for me to get my thoughts in order about authentic faith, spiritual disciplines, and sex and dating. and if anyone has any advice on these topics with teenagers feel free to send them my way!

thank you so much for praying for me and for all my crazy days like this one. please continue to pray for:

-the students i'm blessed to hang out with (some of them are really hurting)

-our team

-my financial support (mainly that i won't worry)

-my friends who are getting married soon and currently, for two more weeks, live in seperate countries

-the Church at ICF

-my family in U.S.

-Camp BlueSky 2010: counselors, campers, program, and THEME (we're currently working on establishing the theme and will begin the devotion guide as soon as that's done).

thanks for reading, praying, and loving!